Tweeting, Texting, and, Oh Yeah, Talking!

Last Spring I horrified my children by joining the Twitterverse.  "Mom," they complained.  "Twitter is the only place left that isn't patrolled by parents!"

"Exactly," I replied.  "All the more reason for me to set up an account!"

The truth is, my girls were the ones who led me to Twitter, even though that wasn't their intent.  It was one night when they were all abuzz over a nasty Twitter-fight because some older girls were bullying some younger ones with ugly "sub-tweeting."  For those who are still in the dark about Twitter, sub-tweeting is posting a comment directed towards a specific person or group, but without mentioning them by name so that if someone were to call you out on it, you can use the excuse "oh, that wasn't even about you!"  It's basically saying what you really wish you could say to a person to tell them off, or to make them look or feel foolish, but would never have the nerve or the indecency to do in person.

So what makes it any less indecent to do in cyberspace?  When did passive-aggressiveness become acceptable behavior?  What is happening to open and direct communication?  When I can say to someone "when you do this it makes me feel (fill in the blank: hurt, rejected, angry, etc.)," I am offering them the chance to make things right, to fix the situation and mend our relationship.  I am letting them know that I regard them highly enough to even want to mend our relationship in the first place.  It creates a starting point for clearing the air.

I believe it works the other way around, too.  I see people who "like" and "retweet" and "favorite" comments on the various social media, but struggle with offering apologies or forgiveness in person.  Just like with the ugly subtweets, cyberspace offers us the ability to hit and run.  In other words, to say "I'm sorry" or "I forgive you" electronically and quickly move on to the next post, text, or tweet without really even giving it a thought.  Where is the sincerity in that?

What happened to getting face to face to say those things?  There is character development in looking someone in the eye and summoning the courage to say what needs to be said.  And what about taking it a step further and following up with a handshake or a hug?  Eye contact, voice inflection, touch.  So important in conveying our sincerity and truly clearing the air and breaking through hurt and anger.

As for Twitter, I very rarely tweet anything, I follow very few people and have even fewer following me.  I'm really only on it for the purpose of keeping up with my girls.  Please don't be disappointed by my lack of tweets or retweets.  I am really not that interesting or fabulous that you need to know my every thought or what I'm eating at every meal.  But if you really have a burning desire to know those things, please call me.  I'd love to chat, or go to lunch.