On the String of a Blue Balloon

The flowers were vibrant, but the girl with the personality to match wasn't there to enjoy them.  The high school choir sang beautifully, but the voice of the girl who should've had the solo was missing.  The blue balloons drifted and danced against fluffy, white clouds.  One strayed from the rest to go it's own way.  The girl's dad said she must have been carrying that one, going her own way, doing her own thing as always.  Tension was broken.  People laughed through their tears.  A final goodbye as the balloons disappeared from sight.

Oh dear girl, you were only 17.  So beautiful and talented.   So much to live for.  So loved.  What kept you from seeing that?  The children's rhyme says "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." It's so wrong.  Who made that up, anyway?  Broken bones heal.  Words that are cruel or thoughtless or bullying can inflict wounds that last a lifetime.  In your case, did they cut your lifetime short? 

I went to your memorial service needing to make sure your mom was surviving.  To give her a hug and maybe even try to shake her awake from what was feeling like a very bad nightmare.  You see, your mom and I go back a long way.  Roommates.  Work colleagues.  Double dates.  We even became moms within just few months of each other, thanks to you and my Kaelie.  It was fun the times we got to watch you girls play together, and then with your baby sister Julia and and Kaelie's baby sister Hannah.  Four little girls with so much promise, so much to look forward to.

Let me tell you how proud I was of your mom at that service.  I think you would be, too.  You should've heard the letter that she wrote and had the pastor's wife read.  It was beautiful, the way she described you, her precious girl.  She acknowledged your pain as well as her own.  But she did something else that to me was most extraordinary.   Instead of allowing herself the luxury of anger and bitterness toward anyone who may have inflicted those wounds that hurt you most, she extended grace.  She made it clear that no post, text, or tweet was responsible, nor could they have saved you or stopped you.  You, dear, determined child, are the only one who bore responsibility for your final action in this life, and so she let you bear it.  As your dad so eloquently put it in his own letter, you were a girl on fire, who felt things so deeply and so passionately.  But ultimately, it was that fire that consumed you.

Grace.  The unmerited favor of God that you chose at your baptism not so long ago.  The one thing that can give those who hurt you another chance to get it right.  The thing that encourages the rest of us to follow your pastor's advice to honor your memory by living better and loving better. The thing that I believe has so far kept your devastated family going because it has no doubt been showered on them through the loving acts and prayers of many, many people.  The one thing that enabled your mom and dad to give hugs, wipe tears from the faces of hurting teenagers, and offer comfort to everyone else, like me, who was breaking down around them.

Grace.  The one thing that I am certain allowed you, sweet girl, to be welcomed into the arms of Jesus even when, in your final act, you strayed from his plan and took matters into your own hands.  Grace that is leading you home, perhaps swinging freely, happily, on the string of a blue balloon.  Rest in peace, Jocelyn, forever in the arms of Grace.

Call Me Mrs. Wishy-Washy

In case you haven't noticed, it's election season folks.  Blah, blah, blah!  When I was a reporter I hated covering politics and elections.  Kind of ironic since I minored in political science, I guess the joke's on me!

The last few years, election time has been worse than ever.  I suppose it's in large part due to the social media age in which we now live.  For example, with a simple click I will send this into the blogosphere for anyone to read. And Facebook!  Oh my gosh, it's impossible to get away from it if you dare to scroll through your newsfeed. Some people like to post their every opinion on every subject and every candidate,  along with articles to support their opinions and bash the candidates they don't like.  I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad thing, as long as those same people are also willing to get involved in the process, write or call their representatives, and go to the polls on election day.  Oh yeah, and if they don't just assume that I share their views, or get angry with me if I don't.

The other day my daughter asked me if I was a democrat or republican.  I told her that I am a moderately conservative/liberal independent.  I honestly didn't know how else to describe myself.  Some might say that makes me wishy-washy.  Whatever.  It's just the only way I've been able to figure out how to go about the process.  It frustrates me when people who know me and know how much my Christian faith means to me just assume that I must be conservative and a rebublican.  On the flip side, it is just as frustrating when others assume that because I spent my career as a tv news reporter that I must be part of the "liberal media," and therefore a democrat.

Really?  Must we all have a label?  Isn't it possible that some of us do try to consider the issues and the candidates prayerfully and conscientiously, without being expected to jump on a party bandwagon?

And while I'm on this little rant, must we publicly bash other people for taking a stand for what they believe?  I'm going to go out on a limb here on behalf of Kirk Cameron, the actor who was asked a direct question on national television the other day and answered it.  He didn't ask to be asked about his stance on gay marraige, but when he was, he spoke his conscience.  He didn't launch a hate campaign against specific individuals or against anyone else who doesn't share his views.  He was simply drawn into the public discourse on the issue by an interviewer.  Now people who don't agree with him are trashing him and circulating petitions and doing everything they can to smear and discredit him.  No matter how we feel about this or any other issue, part of what makes our nation great is the freedom to have public discourse at all.  Shouldn't we be more about guarding and appreciating that freedom, rather than tearing down others who don't share our views?  Can't we be open-minded enough to at least listen to what others have to say?  Might we even pray and ask God to help us consider all sides of the issues and lead us in our conversations and decisions?  What are we so afraid of, anyway?

This election season, I resolve to just relax and pray my way through it.  I will try to live into what the apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans: "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established.  The authorities that exist have been established by God." (Rom. 13:1-2)  Because I trust that God is sovereign,  no matter who is elected I will trust that that person is in office because God has ordained him or her to be there, and whether that person realizes it or not, he or she will be used by God to carry out HIS purposes.  God's Word gives me a much more solid foundation on which to stand than a party line every could.