This morning I woke up with my to-do list already running through my mind. Nevertheless, I was determined to make it a great day, and a successful one as far as my food plan is concerned. After I ushered everyone out the door, I surveyed the fridge and pantry and wondered what in the world I would eat for breakfast. I'm really trying to cut back on the carbs, and I realized that's about all I eat for breakfast.
Finally, I decided that since there were plenty of eggs in the fridge I would go ahead and boil six. That way I would have a ready-made breakfast for the next several days. I put them on the stove to boil and decided to let the multi-tasking begin.
First stop, the laundry room. I started the first load of the day and before I could make it out of the basement the computer beckoned. I sat down to do a quick check of my email. That led to sending three replies, and then reading a really long story that someone forwarded to me. I don't usually read those forwards, I get a million and who has the time? But this one actually caught my attention so I sat and read it to the end.
Next it was on to a check of my Facebook. I sent a couple of happy birthday wishes, responded to a message in my inbox, posted on a friend's wall, then spent some time just scrolling through my newsfeed.
I have no idea how much time passed. It was the smell that finally pulled me from the Facebook vortex.
"What on earth is that?," I wondered aloud. And that's when my stomach growled, reminding me that I had not eaten breakfast because it was still boiling on the stove!
I have never taken the stairs in my house so fast in my life! I raced to the kitchen to find smoke beginning to curl up from the pot, now completely dry with six rock-hard eggs adhering to the bottom! After I cooled them down in some cold water, I broke a couple open. Those bad boys were charred almost halfway through! You can just imagine the smell in my house! But don't, seriously, you really don't want to know!
Once again, the Holy Spirit decided to use this unfortunate incident to teach me a lesson. The number one item on my to-do list when I woke up this morning was to finish working on my Bible study. I'm a group leader so it was imperative to get it done. I had it all spread out on the kitchen table with plans to enjoy my eggs and juice while I worked on it. However, I let the computer take over my brain and suck me into the emailing/Facebook vortex. Now don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying that email and social networking sites are wrong. But they can be major distractions that keep us from the things that we really should be doing. For me, they ended up derailing my two most important things of the morning, my Bible study and my healthy eating plan! Not the way I wanted to start my day, or my week, for that matter.
Proverbs 4:25-27 says "Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.
Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.
do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil."
The sad fact is that I even spent some quality time in prayer before all this happened. I need to remember though, to daily ask the Lord to order my steps and help me keep my eyes fixed on him. On my own it's too easy to let the seemingly good things of the world distract me from the better things of the kingdom! Those are the times I can end up with egg on my face, instead of in my belly!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
In Pursuit of Weakness
It just figures that I would choose one of the most challenging and emotionally topsy-turvy weeks ever to embark on this new journey of healthier eating and (hopefully) weight loss. When you are an emotional eater like I am, high-stress days usually mean high-intake of comfort foods and chocolate!
I won't go into details of the cause of the stress. That would take a book, not a blog post! The point is that at this point, I am feeling just about mentally and emotionally wrung-out! A big 'ol bowl of double fudge chocolate ice cream with hot fudge on top would do quite nicely right about now, thank you very much!
All I could do this morning was pray "Lord, help me be strong." And do you know what? I received an immediate response! How often does that happen?
It came in the form of a question:
"Do you really want to pray to be strong?"
"Um, what?"
Silence.
"Okaaay, there are other people who really need me to be strong right now."
Silence.
And then it dawned on me. "Oh Lord, help me to be weak. I need and want to be utterly and completely dependent on you, because it's only from that place of dependence that I find wisdom, peace, and rest. It's only from that place of dependence that I am able to be any good for anyone else. Thank you for reminding me of that. So yes, Lord, help me to be WEAK!"
As soon as the words were out of my mouth I felt much calmer, just in knowing that the Sovereign Lord who created the heavens and set the earth on its foundations certainly could and would work in this situation. How gracious of Him to settle my spirit by whispering into my ear this morning, even teaching me how to pray!
So I guess it really is no coincidence at all that I started on this new personal journey during this most difficult and stressful week. It's not a journey that I can make on my own, but only by holding on to the hand of the One who promised to help me every step of the way.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power my rest on me."
2 Corinthians 12:9
I won't go into details of the cause of the stress. That would take a book, not a blog post! The point is that at this point, I am feeling just about mentally and emotionally wrung-out! A big 'ol bowl of double fudge chocolate ice cream with hot fudge on top would do quite nicely right about now, thank you very much!
All I could do this morning was pray "Lord, help me be strong." And do you know what? I received an immediate response! How often does that happen?
It came in the form of a question:
"Do you really want to pray to be strong?"
"Um, what?"
Silence.
"Okaaay, there are other people who really need me to be strong right now."
Silence.
And then it dawned on me. "Oh Lord, help me to be weak. I need and want to be utterly and completely dependent on you, because it's only from that place of dependence that I find wisdom, peace, and rest. It's only from that place of dependence that I am able to be any good for anyone else. Thank you for reminding me of that. So yes, Lord, help me to be WEAK!"
As soon as the words were out of my mouth I felt much calmer, just in knowing that the Sovereign Lord who created the heavens and set the earth on its foundations certainly could and would work in this situation. How gracious of Him to settle my spirit by whispering into my ear this morning, even teaching me how to pray!
So I guess it really is no coincidence at all that I started on this new personal journey during this most difficult and stressful week. It's not a journey that I can make on my own, but only by holding on to the hand of the One who promised to help me every step of the way.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power my rest on me."
2 Corinthians 12:9
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Goodbye Babylon
Let me start by saying that I am writing this post not because I want to, but because I have to. It's been swirling around in my brain for a week and will not let me go, so finally, here I sit, compelled to write. I'm pretty certain I know the reasons that I have to write this post. The first is for the accountability that comes from going public. The second is for the humbling, because it definitely is that. This isn't the kind of information that I would normally be revved up to share!
So what on earth am I talking about? Well, I am very excited to say that I have experienced a huge breakthrough that I know without a doubt is going to be life-changing. Some of you who stumble across this post will peruse it and say "okay, whatever." That's fine, I get that. But I believe that the third reason that I am compelled to write it is for the benefit of the ones who will read it and say "Oh how I needed these words. Thank you, God!"
Without further ado, here is my story:
Recently in Bible study we have been in the book of Isaiah learning about the exile of the Jews in Babyon. These people were violently swept from their homes and their nation and forced to live as slaves in capitivity for 70 long and painful years. It came about as a result of their continued disobedience and inattention to God, and was nothing of which they had not been repeatedly warned. Basically, they had turned their backs on God and the abundant life He had offered them in the promised land in order to go their own way and follow their worthless idols.
So all that got me thinking about the worthless idols in my own life, the things that keep me from living my life to the fullest and that get in the way of my relationship with the Lord. The list was long, I'm afraid. The biggest were time-stealers like tv, and Facebook. I even had to include my own family on the list. More often than not I will put them, their activities and their needs before everthing else, and time and attention to my relationship with Christ takes a back seat.
For me, however, I realized that the biggest and most destructive idol in my life has been food. My relationship with food has caused me to pack on way too many pounds and has probably contributed to health issues as well. You see, instead of running first to the Lord when I'm sad or angry, I have chosen to stuff those emotions down with food. Instead of celebrating first with the Lord when I'm happy or excited, I tend to boost those emotions even higher by celebrating with food (and family, and friends.) For most of my life, I have made food my primary source of comfort and joy, rather than seeking those things in and from the Lord as he desires. "I am the LORD, that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols." (Isaiah 42:8)
So it was with that understanding and realization churning through my mind and heart that I read the words of the LORD through Isaiah when he was announcing their freedom from captivity and the destruction of Babylon.
"Depart, depart, go out from there!
Touch no unclean thing!
Come out from it and be pure,
you who carry the vessels of the LORD.
But you will not leave in haste
or go in flight;
for the LORD with go before you,
the God of Israel will be your rear guard." (Isaiah 52: 11-12)
Upon reading those words, I suddenly felt freedom like none I had ever known. Let me translate how the words sounded to me as the LORD spoke them into my heart.
"Tracy, why are you still hanging out in Babylon? Your food addiction has held you captive long enough. Don't you get it that Jesus broke those chains of captivity for you long ago? You're just sittin' there in Babylon of your own free will!
Now come on out of there and don't look back. Lock the door behind you when you leave because you don't need to be going back there. Oh, and don't bring any desserts or heaping plates of cheesy, greasy Mexican food with you, or any of those other tasty treats that trip you up the most. Just trust me to provide what you need. You're my girl, my vessel whom I have called to teach and preach my Good News, and it's time to let me have ALL of you.
Don't worry, you don't have to run. But you do have to get moving and start exercising again. I have a plan for your life and I need you to take care of that temple (your body) so that I can fulfill that plan. One step at a time, one day at a time. I will lead the way if you will only let me.
Make sure to follow closely because I know before you make it back to the Promised Land there will be temptations to return to Babylon. It may not have been the abundant life there that I desire for you, but I understand that it was what you knew and you had become comfortable with living the lesser life, sad as it is to say. So I will also be bringing up the rear in this journey, so that if you do grow weary and try to turn around I will steer you back in the right direction."
Wow! Finally, the answer. Years of battling the scales, the poor body image and resulting damage to my self-esteem, constantly comparing myself to my "skinny" friends, avoiding old friends who knew me in my much skinnier life back in the day because it was easier to avoid the embarrassment, years of tearful prayers and crying out to God to "fix" me; it had all come to this. In a firm but gentle way, God showed me my heart as a puzzle in his hands. For three years my so-called mantra has been Psalm 51:10, "create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." This day, he opened my eyes to the puzzle piece that I was still grasping tightly in my own hands. It was "my issue" that I had chosen to wallow in in my Babylon, and now he was telling me to "come out from it and be pure!"
So I have started with babysteps. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit had already led me to give up sweets for Lent. That is usually a struggle, but so far this time it's not, and I am convinced it's because I now truly believe that God HAS broken those chains and I have said goodbye to Babylon. I'm also making healthier food choices, cutting out the snacks, drinking lots more water and getting back into walking. The next step (soon) will be to meet with my doctor or a nutritionist who can help me come up with a plan to follow.
I am so ready, my friends, to walk with the Lord towards a more pure and holy life, the abundant life that He wants for ALL His children. Will you walk with me? I don't necessarily mean by starting on a diet or plan for healthier living, as I have chosen to do. Surely there must be lots of street corners in Babylon besides the one where I had taken up residence. Maybe yours is the one called money or the pursuit of material pleasures and wealth, or perhaps it's your pride which has led to damaged relationships, including your relationship with the Lord. Could it be Facebook or the internet, sexual addictions or pornography? The list could go on and on. The point is we all have some kind of baggage in Babylon. Are you ready to leave it behind and hightail it out of there? Send me a comment and let me know. Let's embark on the journey together!
So what on earth am I talking about? Well, I am very excited to say that I have experienced a huge breakthrough that I know without a doubt is going to be life-changing. Some of you who stumble across this post will peruse it and say "okay, whatever." That's fine, I get that. But I believe that the third reason that I am compelled to write it is for the benefit of the ones who will read it and say "Oh how I needed these words. Thank you, God!"
Without further ado, here is my story:
Recently in Bible study we have been in the book of Isaiah learning about the exile of the Jews in Babyon. These people were violently swept from their homes and their nation and forced to live as slaves in capitivity for 70 long and painful years. It came about as a result of their continued disobedience and inattention to God, and was nothing of which they had not been repeatedly warned. Basically, they had turned their backs on God and the abundant life He had offered them in the promised land in order to go their own way and follow their worthless idols.
So all that got me thinking about the worthless idols in my own life, the things that keep me from living my life to the fullest and that get in the way of my relationship with the Lord. The list was long, I'm afraid. The biggest were time-stealers like tv, and Facebook. I even had to include my own family on the list. More often than not I will put them, their activities and their needs before everthing else, and time and attention to my relationship with Christ takes a back seat.
For me, however, I realized that the biggest and most destructive idol in my life has been food. My relationship with food has caused me to pack on way too many pounds and has probably contributed to health issues as well. You see, instead of running first to the Lord when I'm sad or angry, I have chosen to stuff those emotions down with food. Instead of celebrating first with the Lord when I'm happy or excited, I tend to boost those emotions even higher by celebrating with food (and family, and friends.) For most of my life, I have made food my primary source of comfort and joy, rather than seeking those things in and from the Lord as he desires. "I am the LORD, that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols." (Isaiah 42:8)
So it was with that understanding and realization churning through my mind and heart that I read the words of the LORD through Isaiah when he was announcing their freedom from captivity and the destruction of Babylon.
"Depart, depart, go out from there!
Touch no unclean thing!
Come out from it and be pure,
you who carry the vessels of the LORD.
But you will not leave in haste
or go in flight;
for the LORD with go before you,
the God of Israel will be your rear guard." (Isaiah 52: 11-12)
Upon reading those words, I suddenly felt freedom like none I had ever known. Let me translate how the words sounded to me as the LORD spoke them into my heart.
"Tracy, why are you still hanging out in Babylon? Your food addiction has held you captive long enough. Don't you get it that Jesus broke those chains of captivity for you long ago? You're just sittin' there in Babylon of your own free will!
Now come on out of there and don't look back. Lock the door behind you when you leave because you don't need to be going back there. Oh, and don't bring any desserts or heaping plates of cheesy, greasy Mexican food with you, or any of those other tasty treats that trip you up the most. Just trust me to provide what you need. You're my girl, my vessel whom I have called to teach and preach my Good News, and it's time to let me have ALL of you.
Don't worry, you don't have to run. But you do have to get moving and start exercising again. I have a plan for your life and I need you to take care of that temple (your body) so that I can fulfill that plan. One step at a time, one day at a time. I will lead the way if you will only let me.
Make sure to follow closely because I know before you make it back to the Promised Land there will be temptations to return to Babylon. It may not have been the abundant life there that I desire for you, but I understand that it was what you knew and you had become comfortable with living the lesser life, sad as it is to say. So I will also be bringing up the rear in this journey, so that if you do grow weary and try to turn around I will steer you back in the right direction."
Wow! Finally, the answer. Years of battling the scales, the poor body image and resulting damage to my self-esteem, constantly comparing myself to my "skinny" friends, avoiding old friends who knew me in my much skinnier life back in the day because it was easier to avoid the embarrassment, years of tearful prayers and crying out to God to "fix" me; it had all come to this. In a firm but gentle way, God showed me my heart as a puzzle in his hands. For three years my so-called mantra has been Psalm 51:10, "create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." This day, he opened my eyes to the puzzle piece that I was still grasping tightly in my own hands. It was "my issue" that I had chosen to wallow in in my Babylon, and now he was telling me to "come out from it and be pure!"
So I have started with babysteps. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit had already led me to give up sweets for Lent. That is usually a struggle, but so far this time it's not, and I am convinced it's because I now truly believe that God HAS broken those chains and I have said goodbye to Babylon. I'm also making healthier food choices, cutting out the snacks, drinking lots more water and getting back into walking. The next step (soon) will be to meet with my doctor or a nutritionist who can help me come up with a plan to follow.
I am so ready, my friends, to walk with the Lord towards a more pure and holy life, the abundant life that He wants for ALL His children. Will you walk with me? I don't necessarily mean by starting on a diet or plan for healthier living, as I have chosen to do. Surely there must be lots of street corners in Babylon besides the one where I had taken up residence. Maybe yours is the one called money or the pursuit of material pleasures and wealth, or perhaps it's your pride which has led to damaged relationships, including your relationship with the Lord. Could it be Facebook or the internet, sexual addictions or pornography? The list could go on and on. The point is we all have some kind of baggage in Babylon. Are you ready to leave it behind and hightail it out of there? Send me a comment and let me know. Let's embark on the journey together!
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