Bitter frustration. That's all I felt as I made a quick exit to the restroom to dry my tears. I had wanted so badly to see an improvement in my timed mile run, but thanks to painful shin splints I developed last week, I was just lucky to be able to finish it at all. With each step, it felt like daggers in my shins, and tears of anger and frustration blurred my eyes to the finish.
I know it sounds ridiculous that this would be something to cry over. But you have to understand that signing up for this 6-week Boot Camp Challenge was a huge leap of faith for me. I have let myself get so far out of shape that getting back into an exercise program of any sort meant swallowing a boatload of pride and fear. There is a lot of emotional junk that gets all tangled up with being overweight and out of shape. I realized, though, that if my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 16:19-20), then I have to do something about the terribly shabby living conditions I'm giving Him. So, I prayed for help with that, and it came in the form of Boot Camp!
Today was the last day of my first 6-week session and we were doing the same assessments we did on the first day.
"Why," I reasoned, "would God allow shin splints to hinder me? Didn't he understand how important these assessments were to me today? How else can I measure my progress?"
As I stood there in the rest room drying my tears and complaining to the Lord, He graciously whispered back to my spirit. "You're using human standards to measure your progress."
Who says God doesn't give immediate responses to prayer? He spoke to me in the bathroom, in direct response to my frustrated cries! I understood immediately, and it was all I needed to hear.
My loving Savior was reminding me that he blesses obedience. In getting all worked up over whether or not I was improving my time, I was allowing myself to slip back to my old ways of thinking that this exercise program was all about me. What happened to improving the living conditions for Him?
At least for today, that gentle whisper was all it took to adjust my attitude so that I could soldier on. Through the next assessments, I meditated on Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through him who gives me strength." And guess what? I was able to do five more push-ups than I did at the beginning, and 21 additional crunches!
The other day I was allowing the shin splints to cause me to question whether I should continue with Boot Camp. But this soldier has re-upped for the next six weeks and I am sticking with it! As for the shin splints, ice, Biofreeze, ibuprofen, and shin-strengthening exercises on the stairs will hopefully bring them under control. Until then, I will run with perseverance the race marked out for me, fixing my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith. (Heb. 12:1-2)
