Whiny Ramblings

How does one balance being authentic with being whiny? I'm having a hard time with that one. Once you find out you have a chronic illness, how do you answer the question that most people really aren't looking for a long-winded answer to? You know the one I'm talking about, "How are you?"

Because so often the question is asked more as a way of greeting, "Hey, how ya doin'," it's usually easiest to just say "Fine, how are you?" But you know, some days you just really feel like crud and you feel like such a liar when you say you're doing fine. Because inside, you're not doing fine at all. You may be in so much pain that you can hardly speak the word anyway, and by the time you've told 20 people in a day that you're fine you get to a point that you're ready to spit nails at the next person who asks you!

Can you tell I'm not having a good morning? I've decided to opt for authenticity today so it's probably a good thing I don't have to go anywhere, at least not until later this afternoon to Kaelie's track meet, which will probably end up being cancelled due to rain and cold anyway.

I figure it's safe to whine here because it's my journal, after all, and whoever else is reading it is probably, hopefully, someone who cares about me or at least is interested in what I have to say and won't mind too terribly if I indulge in a little whining.

The thing is, my neck and shoulders are so locked up I can hardly turn my head. Meanwhile, my lower back is killing me from a herniated disc, but it's also feeling kind of weak, and I don't know if that's from the disc problem or the MS. Whatever, the fact is that it hurts!

Meanwhile, the whole left side of my body continues to have these bizarre burning sensations with pins and needles. That stuff has kind of become my constant companion, so nothing new there. Hopefully one day it will subside and feel normal and only flare up occasionally, but then again it may not. If it doesn't, at least it's much easier to deal with than these spinal issues.

UGH, I think I'm about finished complaining. I'm beginning to make myself gag just reading back over it...sorry! It's time to start singing "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24) Probably a good thing I'm home alone! :)