Tuesday, May 19, 2009

A Test of Trust?

Something is about to happen. Do you ever get that feeling that you just can't shake, the feeling that warns you to be ready? That's the feeling I have, and I'm not liking it one bit.

Yesterday, I went on a two-hour road trip to do some furniture shopping in North Carolina. On the way, I tuned the radio to a Christian music station and listened to a guy who was giving an amazing sermon. He ended it by saying "Believe in miracles, trust in Jesus." Within a minute or two as I approached an interstate overpass, I saw the words "trust Jesus" spray-painted on the side of a concrete bridge support. "Wow, that's pretty cool," I thought. God must be trying to tell me something.

A short time later, I lost the signal for that station and found another. This time, a different pastor from a Chicago mega-church was giving a message on Psalm 23 and how it relates to trusting God. That's when I started to squirm. Psalm 23 is usually one that is used at funerals to bring comfort to the bereaved, or it is used to encourage those who are otherwise hurting or experiencing difficulty or trials. "Oh-oh," I thought, "what's coming?"

I found myself praying "If you're asking me if I trust you, Lord, the answer is yes. I do trust you completely. I don't need to experience any difficulty in order to know that I trust you." I suddenly felt like Peter, whom Jesus asked three times "do you love me?" Yes Lord, I love you, I trust you! Don't you believe me?

This morning, I opened my email to find something that disturbed me even more. The daily devotional I receive on email was there, and today's title was "Trusting God Through Difficult Times." The devotional included a couple of stories of faith through horrible tragedies, as well as a quote from Oswald Chamers:
"Faith by its very nature must be tested and tried. And the real trial of faith is not that we find it difficult to trust God, but that God's character must be proven trustworthy in our own minds."

I don't know what's coming, but I have this sense of foreboding. If you're reading this, I am asking for prayers for peace, for protection for me and my family, and for unshakable faith and trust no matter what comes my way. In the meantime, I'm leaning on two specific verses:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." (Prov. 3:5)

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deut. 31:8)

Hopefully all this is coincidental, but I don't really believe in coincidence. I fully believe in God-incidences, and if in his grace he is trying to prepare me for something that is to come, it makes me love him all the more.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking about you and hoping this isn't related to you and nothing 'bad' happens to you or your family. love ave

Tracy said...

Thanks Ave...hopefully it's nothing at all. At the very least, it has gotten my attention to hold fast to my trust in the Lord.