Goodbye Babylon

Let me start by saying that I am writing this post not because I want to, but because I have to.  It's been swirling around in my brain for a week and will not let me go, so finally, here I sit, compelled to write.  I'm pretty certain I know the reasons that I have to write this post. The first is for the accountability that comes from going public.  The second is for the humbling, because it definitely is that.  This isn't the kind of information that I would normally be revved up to share!

So what on earth am I talking about?  Well, I am very excited to say that I have experienced a huge breakthrough that I know without a doubt is going to be life-changing.  Some of you who stumble across this post will peruse it and say "okay, whatever."  That's fine, I get that.  But I believe that the third reason that I am compelled to write it is for the benefit of the ones who will read it and say "Oh how I needed these words. Thank you, God!"

Without further ado, here is my story:

Recently in Bible study we have been in the book of Isaiah learning about the exile of the Jews in Babyon.  These people were violently swept from their homes and their nation and forced to live as slaves in capitivity for 70 long and painful years.  It came about as a result of their continued disobedience and inattention to God, and was nothing of which they had not been repeatedly warned.  Basically, they had turned their backs on God and the abundant life He had offered them in the promised land in order to go their own way and follow their worthless idols.

So all that got me thinking about the worthless idols in my own life, the things that keep me from living  my life to the fullest and that get in the way of my relationship with the Lord.  The list was long, I'm afraid.  The biggest were time-stealers like tv, and Facebook.  I even had to include my own family on the list.  More often than not I will put them, their activities and their needs before everthing else, and time and attention to my relationship with Christ takes a back seat.

For me, however, I realized that the biggest and most destructive idol in my life has been food.  My relationship with food has caused me to pack on way too many pounds and has probably contributed to health issues as well.  You see, instead of running first to the Lord when I'm sad or angry, I have chosen to stuff those emotions down with food.  Instead of celebrating first with the Lord when I'm happy or excited, I tend to boost those emotions even higher by celebrating with food (and family, and friends.)  For most of my life, I have made food my primary source of comfort and joy, rather than seeking those things in and from the Lord as he desires.  "I am the LORD, that is my name!  I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols."  (Isaiah 42:8)

So it was with that understanding and realization churning through my mind and heart that I read the words of the LORD through Isaiah when he was announcing their freedom from captivity and the destruction of Babylon.

"Depart, depart, go out from there!
Touch no unclean thing!
Come out from it and be pure,
you who carry the vessels of the LORD.
But you will not leave in haste
or go in flight;
for the LORD with go before you,
the God of Israel will be your rear guard." (Isaiah 52: 11-12)

Upon reading those words, I suddenly felt freedom like none I had ever known.  Let me translate how the words sounded to me as the LORD spoke them into my heart.

"Tracy, why are you still hanging out in Babylon?  Your food addiction has held you captive long enough.  Don't you get it that Jesus broke those chains of captivity for you long ago?  You're just sittin' there in Babylon of your own free will!
Now come on out of there and don't look back.  Lock the door behind you when you leave because you don't need to be going back there.  Oh, and don't bring any desserts or heaping plates of cheesy, greasy Mexican food with you, or any of those other tasty treats that trip you up the most.  Just trust me to provide what you need.  You're my girl, my vessel whom I have called to teach and preach my Good News, and it's time to let me have ALL of you.
Don't worry, you don't have to run.  But you do have to get moving and start exercising again.  I have a plan for your life and I need you to take care of that temple (your body) so that I can fulfill that plan. One step at a time, one day at a time.  I will lead the way if you will only let me.
Make sure to follow closely because I know before you make it back to the Promised Land there will be temptations to return to Babylon.  It may not have been the abundant life there that I desire for you, but I understand that it was what you knew and you had become comfortable with living the lesser life, sad as it is to say.  So I will also be bringing up the rear in this journey, so that if you do grow weary and try to turn around I will steer you back in the right direction."

Wow!  Finally, the answer.  Years of battling the scales, the poor body image and resulting damage to my self-esteem, constantly comparing myself to my "skinny" friends, avoiding old friends who knew me in my much skinnier life back in the day because it was easier to avoid the embarrassment, years of tearful prayers and crying out to God to "fix" me; it had all come to this.  In a firm but gentle way, God showed me my heart as a puzzle in his hands.  For three years my so-called mantra has been Psalm 51:10, "create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."  This day, he opened my eyes to the puzzle piece that I was still grasping tightly in my own hands.  It was "my issue" that I had chosen to wallow in in my Babylon, and now he was telling me to "come out from it and be pure!"

So I have started with babysteps.  Thankfully, the Holy Spirit had already led me to give up sweets for Lent.  That is usually a struggle, but so far this time it's not, and I am convinced it's because I now truly believe that God HAS broken those chains and I have said goodbye to Babylon.  I'm also making healthier food choices, cutting out the snacks, drinking lots more water and getting back into walking.  The next step (soon) will be to meet with my doctor or a nutritionist who can help me come up with a plan to follow.

I am so ready, my friends, to walk with the Lord towards a more pure and holy life, the abundant life that He wants for ALL His children. Will you walk with me?  I don't necessarily mean by starting on a diet or plan for healthier living, as I have chosen to do.  Surely there must be lots of street corners in Babylon besides the one where I had taken up residence.  Maybe yours is the one called money or the pursuit of material pleasures and wealth, or perhaps it's your pride which has led to damaged relationships, including your relationship with the Lord.  Could it be Facebook or the internet, sexual addictions or pornography?  The list could go on and on.  The point is we all have some kind of baggage in Babylon.  Are you ready to leave it behind and hightail it out of there?  Send me a comment and let me know.  Let's embark on the journey together!