Yesterday my daughter Hannah had to get a birthday gift for a friend who was celebrating her 10th birthday with a bowling party. I gave Hannah $15 and told her that was the limit. I had to set a limit because both my girls really seem to enjoy giving gifts to their friends. They will buy one thing, and then see something else and want to add that to the gift as well. While I appreciate their generous hearts, I have to draw the line because (call me cheap) I just don't think children need to be spending $30 on other children's birthday presents. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the price doesn't mean much when it's my money they're spending! :) However, Kaelie is a little older and usually purchases gifts with her own money now.
Thinking about my kids' desires to lavish gifts upon their friends also led me to reflect upon God's desires to lavish gifts upon us. What's so awesome about God is that his gift-giving knows no limits! His greatest gift to us was the costliest of all, the gift of his son Jesus Christ. "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding." (Ephesians 1:7-8)
So often, the gifts we give are in response to an invitation. If we are invited to a birthday party or a wedding, it is customary to bring a birthday or wedding gift. If we are invited to some other party, it is good manners to bring a hostess gift. What's so awesome about God is that he does both the inviting AND the giving. Through the gift of his son Jesus, God invites us to be in fellowship with him now and for eternity. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16) Imagine the depths of God's love for us to offer up such an amazing gift with no obligation on our part other than to accept it! "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God." (Eph. 2:8)
Grace. A tiny little one-syllable word with huge, life-changing implications. It is a free gift extended to each of us. We readily accept birthday gifts, wedding gifts, hostess gifts, etc. Why is it so hard to accept God's free gift of grace?
"Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! (2 Corinthians 9:15)
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Stuck at Home Base
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thes. 5:16-18)
God gave me this verse tonight while I was sitting on my front porch, all alone, feeling sorry for myself. You see, while I am sitting here typing these words Kaelie is playing in the finals of the state Dixie softball tournament and I am missing it. Not by choice, mind you, but because I'm on the DL ("disabled list," a term I picked up from years of listening to my husband talk baseball).
Yesterday morning I woke up and I could feel the familiar pain beginning in the back of my neck. I tried to be careful all day, but the longer I sat in the bleachers cheering the team on as they won last night in the semi-finals, the more painful it became. Today it has been excruciating, and my doctor thinks my herniated disc is rearing its ugly head. His office is less than a mile from my house, and every bump in the road on the way there today was agonizing. I knew there was no way I could handle the two-hour round trip between home and the softball tournament.
My sweet Kaelie was so understanding and we made Joey promise to call at the end of every inning with updates. In fact, he just called to let me know that it is scoreless after the first. Oh, how I wish I was there! These kinds of opportunities don't come around often in a child's life, if at all. I think that's why God gave me this verse. It is, after all, HER opportunity, not mine. She's going to sieze it and cherish it whether I'm there or not, as she should. I will find joy in knowing that she gets a chance to play for a state title. I will pray for her and her team, for their safety and sportsmanship, and despite my painful circumstances at the moment, I will give thanks that she is healthy and strong and able to get out there and compete.
What an amazing God we serve! He loves us way too much to let us sit around and wallow in self-pity. Don't ya just love him?!
Is there a time that he has pulled you out of a pit of self-pity? Click on "comments" at the bottom of this post and tell me about it...I love to hear other peoples' stories about the things God has done!
Oh, just to update. Hannah's district championship team also got to play in the state tournament for the 9-10 year-old age division. After losing their first game, they came back for a strong win in the second. They were eliminated on Saturday, however, after losing their third game. They were heartbroken, but we were so very proud of them for making it to state and giving it their all! And Hannah was able to close out her season with a great hit in the last game, scoring the first of her team's two runs!
Okay, soon I'm going to need toothpicks to prop my eyelids open. I guess the painkillers and muscle relaxers are kicking in so I better go. Who knows what I might write... :)A quick footnote: Joey and Kaelie just called to let me know they lost. The final score was 0-6 against a team that was undefeated throughout the tournament. Apparently Kaelie made an awesome leaning, backhanded catch in left field to end an inning...wish I had seen that! Sooo, State runners-up! Not to shabby if you ask me! Way to go Blacksburg!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Cleaning Up
Great news...my house is clean! I'm sure you couldn't possibly care less, but it sure makes me happy! But wait, it gets even better. I didn't have to clean it! For the last couple of months we have had a very nice young lady named Ginny coming to clean every other week. I can't tell you what a huge help that has been. It has gotten harder for me to keep up with it, and even though the girls help out, they're not good with deep-down scrubbing and Joey has had to carry way too much of the load.
Yesterday was Ginny's fourth time here, and when I walked into my clean house in the afternoon it just felt so good. There was no clutter (because I ran around in a frenzy in the morning trying to declutter so she could actually find the surfaces), no dirt, and no stress that is usually brought on by the sight of all the mess and not having time or energy to clean it! It was so free-ing and I felt so grateful.
The first time Ginny came was actually somewhat embarrassing. The place was so dirty that it took her about 5 hours to get it all scrubbed down, and that was after another lady had already spent a day cleaning several weeks before. Both of them assured me that it was definitely not the worst they had seen, but I have my doubts! :)
After those initial visits, things have definitely gotten better. Now that the layers of grime have been removed, Ginny gets the job done in about three hours. We're also getting better about not letting things pile up so that even the pre-cleaning de-cluttering goes faster as well.
As I woke up to my nice clean room this morning, the Lord showed me a parallel to the sin in my life. Ouch! Not something I want to think about when I'm trying to start a new day in my nice clean house. As I stepped into my clean shower, God let me know that no amount of scrubbing my body could do anything about any grimy build-up in my heart. I can hire someone to beautify my house. I can hire someone to give me a pedicure or put highlights in my hair to beautify my physical appearance, but only the Lord can beautify my heart. Only he can strip away the layers of grime or guilt or sin or shame.
Hebrews 12:11 says "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
I truly detest cleaning. For me, it is absolute drudgery. I guess that's why this parallel made so much sense to me. I submit to the torture (okay, so I'm a little dramatic) of house-cleaning when I have to, and it is always nice to see the finished product. In the same way, when the Lord needs to root out some sin in my life or do a little heart-cleaning, it is never a pleasant process. But I have to admit that it is much more free-ing than even having a clean house, and I am oh-so-very grateful that he loves me enough to do it.
Yesterday was Ginny's fourth time here, and when I walked into my clean house in the afternoon it just felt so good. There was no clutter (because I ran around in a frenzy in the morning trying to declutter so she could actually find the surfaces), no dirt, and no stress that is usually brought on by the sight of all the mess and not having time or energy to clean it! It was so free-ing and I felt so grateful.
The first time Ginny came was actually somewhat embarrassing. The place was so dirty that it took her about 5 hours to get it all scrubbed down, and that was after another lady had already spent a day cleaning several weeks before. Both of them assured me that it was definitely not the worst they had seen, but I have my doubts! :)
After those initial visits, things have definitely gotten better. Now that the layers of grime have been removed, Ginny gets the job done in about three hours. We're also getting better about not letting things pile up so that even the pre-cleaning de-cluttering goes faster as well.
As I woke up to my nice clean room this morning, the Lord showed me a parallel to the sin in my life. Ouch! Not something I want to think about when I'm trying to start a new day in my nice clean house. As I stepped into my clean shower, God let me know that no amount of scrubbing my body could do anything about any grimy build-up in my heart. I can hire someone to beautify my house. I can hire someone to give me a pedicure or put highlights in my hair to beautify my physical appearance, but only the Lord can beautify my heart. Only he can strip away the layers of grime or guilt or sin or shame.
Hebrews 12:11 says "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
I truly detest cleaning. For me, it is absolute drudgery. I guess that's why this parallel made so much sense to me. I submit to the torture (okay, so I'm a little dramatic) of house-cleaning when I have to, and it is always nice to see the finished product. In the same way, when the Lord needs to root out some sin in my life or do a little heart-cleaning, it is never a pleasant process. But I have to admit that it is much more free-ing than even having a clean house, and I am oh-so-very grateful that he loves me enough to do it.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Champions!
Just a quick post today to update on the softball tournament. Finally, after several rain delays, Kaelie and Hannah's teams played in the finals yesterday. Both teams emerged as DISTRICT CHAMPIONS! I'm posting in navy blue in honor of their team colors.
Not only did they win, but they absolutely crushed the competition. Both games were ended as a result of the "slaughter rule," which means that if one team is ahead by 10 runs after the fourth inning, the game is ended and they get the automatic win. It was so exciting for the girls and so gratifying for them to see all their hard work pay off.
There won't be any resting and basking in the glory, however. They now advance to the State tournament, which will be played next weekend about an hour away. Wouldn't you know it, both teams play their first games at 6:00 Friday night. I guess Joey will have to go to one and I'll go to the other, and we'll switch halfway or something.
I just got a new camera for my birthday last week and I took lots of great pictures at the tournament. I wish I could figure out how to show more than one photo on my blog, but I'm still a rookie!
Not only did they win, but they absolutely crushed the competition. Both games were ended as a result of the "slaughter rule," which means that if one team is ahead by 10 runs after the fourth inning, the game is ended and they get the automatic win. It was so exciting for the girls and so gratifying for them to see all their hard work pay off.
There won't be any resting and basking in the glory, however. They now advance to the State tournament, which will be played next weekend about an hour away. Wouldn't you know it, both teams play their first games at 6:00 Friday night. I guess Joey will have to go to one and I'll go to the other, and we'll switch halfway or something.
I just got a new camera for my birthday last week and I took lots of great pictures at the tournament. I wish I could figure out how to show more than one photo on my blog, but I'm still a rookie!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Seasons and Celebrations
Finally...back online after almost six days without internet service! There have been so many times I have wanted to get to my blog and I haven't been able to. I guess I could've picked up a pen and paper, but I've gotten so used to typing out my thoughts that somehow it just didn't seem the same. Writing everything out by hand is so much slower. I find I keep up with my thought process a lot better (meaning things don't fly out of my head before I can get them down) when my fingers are flying over the keyboard.
I've missed blogging through a several important events. First, an update on Hannah's trip to camp. She had a blast and came home all smiles and feeling quite full of herself. Even though we sent note cards with pre-addressed and stamped envelopes for her to write home, she didn't even bother. Turns out she pulled herself together and began having a great time from the moment she could no longer see me waving goodbye from the church parking lot. Go figure...
The day after she returned we got to celebrate her homecoming with fireworks. Actually, it was Independence Day, and since Joey didn't have to work, we really enjoyed just hanging out and having some down time. Joey got to take a nap on the couch, Kaelie got to spend the day at the pool with her friend, and Hannah and I went to the new American Girl movie, Kit Kittredge. It was really good, by the way, and one the whole family can enjoy. That evening we all went out to Texas Roadhouse together (we figured you couldn't get much more American than that) and then to the firewords display.
The next day, July 5th, Kaelie turned 13. Yes, I am now officially the mother of a teenager. We spent the morning standing outside in a downpour for the first day of the all-star softball tournament. Both girls made the teams for their age divisions, but neither got to play because all the games were postponed until the next day. Suddenly, Kaelie's birthday was freed up and she had no plans. I let her call two of her bestest buddies and took them to Kaelie's favorite Mexican restaurant, which just happens to be at the mall. We dropped them off and let them have dinner together, they called when they were ready for us to come and pay, then they went off and left us again to shop. I was really impressed with Kaelie for letting Hannah come along to shop with her and her friends. Hannah was feeling a little sad about her big sis becoming a teenager and I think it made her day when Kaelie said she could come with them. Joey and I made ourselves scarce and did a little shopping of our own, and when we realized that it was kind of like a date, we decided that maybe this business of having a teenager might not be so bad after all! Afterwards, we all went back to our house for cake and ice cream, and all in all the impromptu birthday celebration turned out to be a big success.
Since then, we have been busy with softball every day. Hannah's team lost their first game but they won the next two. They were supposed to play in the semi-finals tonight but alas, another rainout. Kaelie's first game was rained out twice, they finally got to play last night and lost. Their second game scheduled for tonight was also rained out, so who knows how long this tourney could drag on!
Sooo....the operative word for the Altizer family in July thus far is BUSY. The verse I have to keep coming back to is Ecclesiastes 3:1. "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Right now for us it is softball and swim team season, then comes volleyball and soccer seasons, then basketball season, then track season. :)
Seriously, I have to keep reminding myself that this season of my life needs to be about my children. Yes, I have to take care of myself and my needs and that is important too, but childhood is so very short and so very special. I had my turn to be a child and do lots of wonderful activities that my parents sacrificed for as well. Now Kaelie and Hannah get their turn to be children and I want them to be able to seize the opportunities that they're given. No, softball is not my favorite sport, in fact I find it rather boring, and I have whined and complained about the schedule. But they really wanted to play and Joey is coaching their teams and it has given them some great time and interaction with their dad.
So, I dutifully sit behind the fence, I cheer when they and their teams hit the ball and make plays and I try to shout words of encouragement when they don't. And I'm realizing that it's more than softball season that will soon come to end. Their childhoods will also, and as my friend Denise wistfully reminded me today, before I know it they will be 20 (her oldest son's age) and I will be missing this sweet and precious season. Such a lovely thought to ponder as I approach my own birthday tomorrow!
I've missed blogging through a several important events. First, an update on Hannah's trip to camp. She had a blast and came home all smiles and feeling quite full of herself. Even though we sent note cards with pre-addressed and stamped envelopes for her to write home, she didn't even bother. Turns out she pulled herself together and began having a great time from the moment she could no longer see me waving goodbye from the church parking lot. Go figure...
The day after she returned we got to celebrate her homecoming with fireworks. Actually, it was Independence Day, and since Joey didn't have to work, we really enjoyed just hanging out and having some down time. Joey got to take a nap on the couch, Kaelie got to spend the day at the pool with her friend, and Hannah and I went to the new American Girl movie, Kit Kittredge. It was really good, by the way, and one the whole family can enjoy. That evening we all went out to Texas Roadhouse together (we figured you couldn't get much more American than that) and then to the firewords display.
The next day, July 5th, Kaelie turned 13. Yes, I am now officially the mother of a teenager. We spent the morning standing outside in a downpour for the first day of the all-star softball tournament. Both girls made the teams for their age divisions, but neither got to play because all the games were postponed until the next day. Suddenly, Kaelie's birthday was freed up and she had no plans. I let her call two of her bestest buddies and took them to Kaelie's favorite Mexican restaurant, which just happens to be at the mall. We dropped them off and let them have dinner together, they called when they were ready for us to come and pay, then they went off and left us again to shop. I was really impressed with Kaelie for letting Hannah come along to shop with her and her friends. Hannah was feeling a little sad about her big sis becoming a teenager and I think it made her day when Kaelie said she could come with them. Joey and I made ourselves scarce and did a little shopping of our own, and when we realized that it was kind of like a date, we decided that maybe this business of having a teenager might not be so bad after all! Afterwards, we all went back to our house for cake and ice cream, and all in all the impromptu birthday celebration turned out to be a big success.
Since then, we have been busy with softball every day. Hannah's team lost their first game but they won the next two. They were supposed to play in the semi-finals tonight but alas, another rainout. Kaelie's first game was rained out twice, they finally got to play last night and lost. Their second game scheduled for tonight was also rained out, so who knows how long this tourney could drag on!
Sooo....the operative word for the Altizer family in July thus far is BUSY. The verse I have to keep coming back to is Ecclesiastes 3:1. "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Right now for us it is softball and swim team season, then comes volleyball and soccer seasons, then basketball season, then track season. :)
Seriously, I have to keep reminding myself that this season of my life needs to be about my children. Yes, I have to take care of myself and my needs and that is important too, but childhood is so very short and so very special. I had my turn to be a child and do lots of wonderful activities that my parents sacrificed for as well. Now Kaelie and Hannah get their turn to be children and I want them to be able to seize the opportunities that they're given. No, softball is not my favorite sport, in fact I find it rather boring, and I have whined and complained about the schedule. But they really wanted to play and Joey is coaching their teams and it has given them some great time and interaction with their dad.
So, I dutifully sit behind the fence, I cheer when they and their teams hit the ball and make plays and I try to shout words of encouragement when they don't. And I'm realizing that it's more than softball season that will soon come to end. Their childhoods will also, and as my friend Denise wistfully reminded me today, before I know it they will be 20 (her oldest son's age) and I will be missing this sweet and precious season. Such a lovely thought to ponder as I approach my own birthday tomorrow!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Big Girls do Cry
It doesn't seem possible. We've graduated to all double-digits in our house. My baby turned 10 yesterday. How often have I heard the wisdom offered up from those older and wiser than I to "enjoy them while you can because they'll be grown and gone in the blink of an eye." It's so cliched but I'm finding it to be so very true, especially this year with Hannah kissing the single digits goodbye and Kaelie becoming a teenager this Saturday!
There are still some little-girl remnants remaining though. Today Hannah left for a four-day trip to church camp. Even though she went to this same camp last summer and loved it, she was a wreck about leaving home. She went to bed at 8:30 last night but was up and down until midnight, nervous and crying and complaining of a stomach ache because of the stress.
This morning she was doing much better until we were on the way to catch the bus at the church and she called her daddy on the cell phone to tell him goodbye. I listened as her voice started to quiver and catch, and in the rearview mirror I saw the tears sliding down her cheeks. She had pulled herself together by the time she got out of the car, but then the group was half an hour late leaving so it turned into a long, drawn-out goodbye. I don't know if that was better or worse for her.
Just before they took off, she reached out for one last hug and I wasn't sure if she was going to let go. I patted her on the chest and asked "Who goes with you wherever you go, Hannah?" She pointed at me. I looked into her eyes and said "My love certainly goes with you, but more importantly than me, who goes with you?" She looked upward then and I knew she understood.
"That's right. Don't you forget that even though Mommy and Daddy can't be there, Jesus goes with you no matter where you go. He is always there." At that, she nodded her head and I saw the slightest bit of a smile and I knew she would be okay. She still made me promise to stand in the parking lot and wave until the bus was completely out of sight, which I was glad to do!
So, if you think of it, please say a little prayer for Hannah this week, my baby in the double-digits!
"This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
There are still some little-girl remnants remaining though. Today Hannah left for a four-day trip to church camp. Even though she went to this same camp last summer and loved it, she was a wreck about leaving home. She went to bed at 8:30 last night but was up and down until midnight, nervous and crying and complaining of a stomach ache because of the stress.
This morning she was doing much better until we were on the way to catch the bus at the church and she called her daddy on the cell phone to tell him goodbye. I listened as her voice started to quiver and catch, and in the rearview mirror I saw the tears sliding down her cheeks. She had pulled herself together by the time she got out of the car, but then the group was half an hour late leaving so it turned into a long, drawn-out goodbye. I don't know if that was better or worse for her.
Just before they took off, she reached out for one last hug and I wasn't sure if she was going to let go. I patted her on the chest and asked "Who goes with you wherever you go, Hannah?" She pointed at me. I looked into her eyes and said "My love certainly goes with you, but more importantly than me, who goes with you?" She looked upward then and I knew she understood.
"That's right. Don't you forget that even though Mommy and Daddy can't be there, Jesus goes with you no matter where you go. He is always there." At that, she nodded her head and I saw the slightest bit of a smile and I knew she would be okay. She still made me promise to stand in the parking lot and wave until the bus was completely out of sight, which I was glad to do!
So, if you think of it, please say a little prayer for Hannah this week, my baby in the double-digits!
"This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
From the Beach to the Mountain
I'm back! It feels good to be sitting down to my blog again, it has been almost two weeks! They have been two jam-packed weeks, though, and I honestly have not had time to sit down and write. What happened to long, carefree, summer days? I know there was such a thing not so long ago in my life. I'm thankful that we did get to enjoy some of them a couple of weeks ago at the beach in Hilton Head. It was a great vacation and it was hard to come home and jump right back into the busy schedule! At least we got to follow it up with a long overdue visit from my sister, brother-in-law and nephew. Getting to spend some time with them made coming home much less painful!
Ever since a sermon I heard Sunday before last, I've been thinking a lot about Elijah, the great prophet of the Bible whose ministry is chronicled in 1st and 2nd Kings. I finally decided it was time to sit down and write out my thoughts, because otherwise they become jumbled up with other things and I forget what the Lord is teaching me.
I've always wondered why Elijah's faith seemed to falter so quickly when God had done so many powerful things through him and in his presence. God used Elijah to prophesy to Ahab, one of the most evil kings in the history of Israel. Time and again Elijah went boldly before Ahab to deliver the Lord's messages, which always included such bad news and judgement that Ahab called Elijah the "troubler of Israel." (1 Kings 18:17) Elijah predicted a three-year drought, during which God used a brook to provide Elijah water to drink and ravens to bring him meat.
(1 Kings 17: 6) When the brook dried up, God sent him to a woman who was using her last bit of flour and oil to provide a final meal for her and her son before they would die. Instead, she showed enough faith in Elijah's God to share her provisions with Elijah. In return, God kept them supplied with food throughout the drought. (1 Kings 17:13-16)
When the woman's son became ill and died, Elijah cried out to God to restore the child's life. God obliged, and the woman's faith increased. (1 Kings 17:22-24)
Later, God sent Elijah to present himself again to King Ahab, whose evil Baal-worshipping wife Jezebel was busily killing off all the Lord's prophets. What a picture of bravery and total trust in God's protection to go seeking out this powerful king who wanted him dead! That meeting led to a showdown on Mount Carmel, in which Elijah called down fire from God and proved to Ahab and the Israelites and the Baal prophets that the Lord is God. (1 Kings 18:36-39)
At that, the drought ended as Elijah predicted, and as King Ahab rode off to town in his chariot, God gave Elijah supernatural speed to run ahead of Ahab all the way. (1 Kings 18:48) Here's where I begin to get confused. After Ahab gets home and reports the events of Mount Carmel to the evil Jezebel, she gets all hot-headed and sends word to Elijah that she intends to have him murdered.
It is certainly not the first time Jezebel and Ahab have had a price on his head, so why is Elijah's response so different this time? 1 Kings 19:3 says "Elijah was afraid and ran for his life." He actually goes out into the desert, and saying that he has had enough, prays for God to take his life.
Instead, God twice provides hot bread and a jar of water, which Elijah consumes at the command of an angel. On the strength of that food, Elijah then travels 40 days and 40 nights, fasting throughout, to Horeb. You would think at this point that Elijah would be expecting some kind of amazing experience with God. Look where he has ended up, the very mountain on which God gave Moses the 10 Commandments! Has he gone there seeking a "mountaintop experience" of his own?
It would appear that Elijah is still depressed, lonely and fearful, because he hides out in a cave. When the word of the Lord comes to him and asks "what are you doing here, Elijah?," his response is "I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too." (1 Kings 19:10)
This is where I have to ask, "Come on Elijah, what more do you need? God has used you in powerful ways, working through you to bring a dead child back to life and answering your call to rain fire from heaven to prove his divinity to the Israelites! How can your faith waver now?"
My personal opinion is that Elijah has been very wrapped up in his ministry. He is right when he says he has been very zealous for the Lord. He has done the Lord's work over and over without hesitation. Perhaps his problem is more than loneliness and depression. Could it be he has become so used to and comfortable with God working through him that he has not paid enough attention to his own need for God to work in him?
I can totally relate if that is the case. I love it when God gives me a task to carry out. It makes me feel energized and empowered, and it is honoring and humbling all at once to get an up-close view of God at work, to actually be partnering with God, and to see the impact in someone else's life. There is nothing else like it!
I know, however, how easy it is to fall into the trap of self-sufficiency. When the heat is turned up, I think it's human nature to either seek a quick fix or to just want to give up. It takes discipline and raw faith to turn first to God and wait patiently for him to work. I'm not saying that Elijah didn't have those things, he obviously did. I just think it's easier when God is putting our discipline and faith into action on behalf of others than it is for ourselves in our own lives.
It would appear from reading both chapters 18 and 19, that this is the first time as a prophet that Elijah is without a specific mission to carry out. He has won an amazing victory on Mount Carmel. Suddenly his work appears to be finished, he is without instruction from God on what to do next, and his life is being threatened by Jezebel. Is he afraid this time that without a specific task before him that he is of no more use to God and therefore no longer under God's protection? After all, he ran off to the desert and asked God to take his life. Surely that would be better than dying at the hand of Jezebel!
The good news is that even though Elijah's faith wavered, God did not abandon him. In the cave on Mount Horeb when God spoke to Elijah, it wasn't in anger through the powerful wind, earthquake or fire that ravaged the mountain. Instead, it was through a gentle whisper, which I think is just what Elijah needed to quiet his soul. In retreating to a place of solitude, the prophet was able to receive the peace and reassurance that he needed in his own life, which God delivered in a gentle and loving way.
So often, I want the big, emotional, life-changing event, God showing himself in mighty and powerful ways. But I need to remember that sometimes a "mountaintop experience" is just that, a quiet time with God while sitting on a mountain (or in some other solitary place.) And truly, that should be all I really need.
Ever since a sermon I heard Sunday before last, I've been thinking a lot about Elijah, the great prophet of the Bible whose ministry is chronicled in 1st and 2nd Kings. I finally decided it was time to sit down and write out my thoughts, because otherwise they become jumbled up with other things and I forget what the Lord is teaching me.
I've always wondered why Elijah's faith seemed to falter so quickly when God had done so many powerful things through him and in his presence. God used Elijah to prophesy to Ahab, one of the most evil kings in the history of Israel. Time and again Elijah went boldly before Ahab to deliver the Lord's messages, which always included such bad news and judgement that Ahab called Elijah the "troubler of Israel." (1 Kings 18:17) Elijah predicted a three-year drought, during which God used a brook to provide Elijah water to drink and ravens to bring him meat.
(1 Kings 17: 6) When the brook dried up, God sent him to a woman who was using her last bit of flour and oil to provide a final meal for her and her son before they would die. Instead, she showed enough faith in Elijah's God to share her provisions with Elijah. In return, God kept them supplied with food throughout the drought. (1 Kings 17:13-16)
When the woman's son became ill and died, Elijah cried out to God to restore the child's life. God obliged, and the woman's faith increased. (1 Kings 17:22-24)
Later, God sent Elijah to present himself again to King Ahab, whose evil Baal-worshipping wife Jezebel was busily killing off all the Lord's prophets. What a picture of bravery and total trust in God's protection to go seeking out this powerful king who wanted him dead! That meeting led to a showdown on Mount Carmel, in which Elijah called down fire from God and proved to Ahab and the Israelites and the Baal prophets that the Lord is God. (1 Kings 18:36-39)
At that, the drought ended as Elijah predicted, and as King Ahab rode off to town in his chariot, God gave Elijah supernatural speed to run ahead of Ahab all the way. (1 Kings 18:48) Here's where I begin to get confused. After Ahab gets home and reports the events of Mount Carmel to the evil Jezebel, she gets all hot-headed and sends word to Elijah that she intends to have him murdered.
It is certainly not the first time Jezebel and Ahab have had a price on his head, so why is Elijah's response so different this time? 1 Kings 19:3 says "Elijah was afraid and ran for his life." He actually goes out into the desert, and saying that he has had enough, prays for God to take his life.
Instead, God twice provides hot bread and a jar of water, which Elijah consumes at the command of an angel. On the strength of that food, Elijah then travels 40 days and 40 nights, fasting throughout, to Horeb. You would think at this point that Elijah would be expecting some kind of amazing experience with God. Look where he has ended up, the very mountain on which God gave Moses the 10 Commandments! Has he gone there seeking a "mountaintop experience" of his own?
It would appear that Elijah is still depressed, lonely and fearful, because he hides out in a cave. When the word of the Lord comes to him and asks "what are you doing here, Elijah?," his response is "I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too." (1 Kings 19:10)
This is where I have to ask, "Come on Elijah, what more do you need? God has used you in powerful ways, working through you to bring a dead child back to life and answering your call to rain fire from heaven to prove his divinity to the Israelites! How can your faith waver now?"
My personal opinion is that Elijah has been very wrapped up in his ministry. He is right when he says he has been very zealous for the Lord. He has done the Lord's work over and over without hesitation. Perhaps his problem is more than loneliness and depression. Could it be he has become so used to and comfortable with God working through him that he has not paid enough attention to his own need for God to work in him?
I can totally relate if that is the case. I love it when God gives me a task to carry out. It makes me feel energized and empowered, and it is honoring and humbling all at once to get an up-close view of God at work, to actually be partnering with God, and to see the impact in someone else's life. There is nothing else like it!
I know, however, how easy it is to fall into the trap of self-sufficiency. When the heat is turned up, I think it's human nature to either seek a quick fix or to just want to give up. It takes discipline and raw faith to turn first to God and wait patiently for him to work. I'm not saying that Elijah didn't have those things, he obviously did. I just think it's easier when God is putting our discipline and faith into action on behalf of others than it is for ourselves in our own lives.
It would appear from reading both chapters 18 and 19, that this is the first time as a prophet that Elijah is without a specific mission to carry out. He has won an amazing victory on Mount Carmel. Suddenly his work appears to be finished, he is without instruction from God on what to do next, and his life is being threatened by Jezebel. Is he afraid this time that without a specific task before him that he is of no more use to God and therefore no longer under God's protection? After all, he ran off to the desert and asked God to take his life. Surely that would be better than dying at the hand of Jezebel!
The good news is that even though Elijah's faith wavered, God did not abandon him. In the cave on Mount Horeb when God spoke to Elijah, it wasn't in anger through the powerful wind, earthquake or fire that ravaged the mountain. Instead, it was through a gentle whisper, which I think is just what Elijah needed to quiet his soul. In retreating to a place of solitude, the prophet was able to receive the peace and reassurance that he needed in his own life, which God delivered in a gentle and loving way.
So often, I want the big, emotional, life-changing event, God showing himself in mighty and powerful ways. But I need to remember that sometimes a "mountaintop experience" is just that, a quiet time with God while sitting on a mountain (or in some other solitary place.) And truly, that should be all I really need.
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